Thank you all for the outpouring of love and support I received after my vent last week. It did wonders to get it off my chest and I’m glad I decided to still post it because sometimes you just absolutely need your friends to cheer you up. After I wrote it all out and posted it, I went back through Ross’s edits/critiques and decided to work on the “chasm” feeling I had forming between me and my twin sister after her diagnosis.
I decided it was best to channel my anger and frustration into describing how it felt to realize there was a chasm forming between my twin and myself. Not out of spite, but simply because this was something we could not experience together. This was the first time in our lives we had ever been separated by something. So this poem felt to me like it came “out of nowhere” and … frankly … it’s a lot darker than I probably would have written if were I not still filled with the lingering frustration I wrote about it my blog.
I’m curious though, for those who read this, what you think. It surprised me. But I’m going to keep it for now. I want to see how it fits.
If I Were a Chasm
If I were a chasm I’d swallow you whole,
Swallow you down my fathomless hole.
If I were a chasm I’d fill me with fire,
Throw it all in and watch it expire!
If I were a chasm I’d pull you down deep.
I’d fill you with nothing to hear your soul weep.
If I were a chasm I’d fill me with seas,
Crushing my rocks with relative ease.
Waves upon waves would enter my mouth
Til no one could hear what my screams were about.
Down I would bring you, down to the floor,
Down I would pin you – to be lonely no more.