I found this gem while going through my writings. This was a prompt. The title was all that was given along with the instruction to write it like a news article. I’m assuming I wrote this Thursday, May 23, 2013 based on the wonky date I made up. Enjoy!
Thaylorsday, Maylu 23, 4313
“It all started when our ship landed on planet Julma,” begins Andi Yerppa, a professional botanist on her fifty-fifth voyage. “I had been talking to Germund, he was telling me about something he overheard between two of the other passengers on the ship [excess quote cut per editor’s request].”
Andi Yerppa considers herself an expert in “all things worth knowing” about her voyage mates. “Even though I’m a botanist and not a psychiatrist, there’s a lot you can learn from plants and how they interact with each other. It is just as important to place a plant in the right environment to grow as it is to place a humanoid or creature in their proper environment to grow” she advises.
We tried to get a quote from the other voyagers about this wise practice, but non seemed to want to comment on the method Yerppa uses to aid those around her.
“I mean, you just don’t realize what people are going through unless you listen to them, you know, sometimes without them knowing you’re listening. It’s what people say when they think you’re not listening that really helps you get to know them. LIke Pufchek, for example, I overheard her talking to her best friend and she had no idea I was listening to the worse thing that has ever happened to her. So I knew then and there that everyone on the ship should know so that we could all help and support her, you know?”
Having gained such high respect from her fellow voyagers, she is always given the high honor of being the first one off the ship when investigating a new planet; while the others stay in the ship until they feel she has had enough time to be honored to join her.
“So I jumped off the ship and headed for the nearest plant-like thing I could find, which is what I always do,” Yerppa continues, “there were these colorful vines hanging over some rocks and the earth was very soft. The plants seemed to grow horizontal from the atmosphere, giving me a feeling that the tips do not seek substance from the upper atmosphere such as those do on the planet formerly known as Earth.”
Julma plant life samples have been taken and will be studied in the Why Does It Grow Institute of Planet Herbchai, the very institute that sent Yerppa away on missions to find new and exciting plants to study.
“So I come to what I suppose are a type of flower. There were three long, vertical, pointed protrusions from the plants. Since most of the plant-life was horizontal, I zeroed in on them fairly quickly. Each stem was a different color and it looked as though the covering was a soft, moving substance. As I came closer, it moved.”
Here Yerppa does a play-by-play of her encounter. To see the video, visit Wugliknowsall.ipw. Pleas ensure your computoid understands that all interplanetary web sites are cleaned hourly to ensure no viral alien mites enter the data steams.
“I walked closer, and it moved closer. I walked a few steps closer, and it jumped! So I let out a little scream, which no one seemed to hear on the ship, even though I had a connectorcom on me.”
Here a passing voyage mate explains her connectorcom had temporarily broken and they had not, in fact, heard her scream, so had no idea they needed to be concerned in any way for her safety.
“So out of the plants and onto the path I was standing on comes what looks to me, the best way I could possibly describe it, like a rabbit only with three ears, very large eyes, moving fur, and the ability to walk like a humanoid or jump like a rabbit.”
Pictures of these creatures are also available on .ipw.
“And out of nowhere, the thing just makes a belching sound right in my face. I mean, it was loud. And it smelled awful. I really had a good moment to consider what they could be eating.”
At this point, the rest of the voyagers had emerged, “figuring it was safe…I mean safer for her for us to be out there since we realized her connectorcom was not working” a voyager who refused to give her name explained.
Trilem, speaking fluent Krpaze, immediately assumed the creature had issued a battle cry and “told the creature we come in peace and only wished to see what kind of plants they have,” Trilem, unwilling to give its last name, said after much coaxing.
“The rabbit just sat there,” Yerppa continued, after Trielem suddenly started coughing or sneezing and ran away to get a tissue.
“And then, a bunch more ears started appearing and all of a sudden more of the belching sounds. I just kinda stood there for a while and then I asked them what they were trying to say. I mean, I know it was a new planet and all, but I didn’t know what language they spoke or what in the milky way Trilem was yelling at them. It’s last name is Brerrqu by the way, and it likes to sleep cuddled up with a strange monkey-looking [excess quote cut per editor’s request].”
To the voyagers’ great grief, which we think they meant to say relief and just caught their wording wrong as they kept running away from us, the rabbit creatures did not eat Yerppa
“I mean, how was I supposed to know that was a sign of welcome? I mean, in what planet is belching in someone’s face not considered rude! Well, I mean, besides this one I guess.”
Yerppa plans to return to the planet after dropping the samples of he plants off at the institution.
It seems the rest of the crew has made plans for other voyages for the next several years.