This is a fictionalized conversation I imagine sums up the problem of society turning the tables on sexually assaulted victims. Photo Credit: Photo by Ali Yahya on Unsplash
Victim: -“What will be done to him?”
Society: “That depends on if you want to submit a formal report to begin an investigation.”
-“Okay, I do.”
“Let’s take some time to think about this. It is a long and drawn out process.”
-“Okay.”
“You may be hurt in the process.”
-“How?”
“People won’t believe you.”
-“I know what happened. I can’t control what other people think.”
“But think of his family.”
-“His family?”
“Yes, think of how devastated they would be if this got out.”
-“If this got out?”
“If you followed through with reporting this.”
-“But he didn’t think of his family when he did this to me. Why should I?”
“What he did to you is still in question.”
-“Why is it in question? I already told you what happened.”
“But there is the question of proof. Of circumstance.”
-“You don’t believe me?”
“These charges are serious.”
-“So is what happened to me.”
“You can’t just ruin this man’s life because of something that may have been misinterpreted.”
-“There is no other way to interpret what he did.”
“You will find, if this does get reported, that there are many ways.”
-“What about him ruining my life?”
“You are young. You will be fine.”
-“So you just allow him to continue on like nothing ever happened?”
“Nothing has officially been reported against him.”
-“That’s what I’m trying to do.”
“We will monitor him.”
-“How?”
“Check in on him every now and then.”
-“Won’t he know that’s what you’re doing? He can find other ways to hide what he’s doing.”
“But we don’t know for sure what he’s doing.”
-“I just told you.”
“But this is one instance.”
-“Maybe others are too afraid to come forward because of how you treat them.”
“I am not treating you in any particular way.”
-“You are telling me not to report someone who has sexually assaulted me.”
“I did not specifically tell you that.”
-“You are pressuring me not to by providing multiple reasons to keep quiet.”
“That is only how you are interpreting this conversation.”
-“Just like how I interpreted what happened?”
“Perhaps you just need to take some time to think about it.”
-“I do think about it. Every time I close my eyes it’s there. I can’t escape it.”
“It sounds like you need some psychological help. Have you seen a counselor?”
-“Yes, the counselor agrees with me that I need to speak out.”
“Counselors say a lot of things to make you feel better.”
-“Why suggest I see one if you don’t respect what they say?”
“I would have suggested one I already know and trust.”
-“You mean one who would tell me what you want them to tell me?”
“I mean one who has worked with us and understands the delicate nature of these situations.”
-“These situations? Plural?”
“Situations in general.”
-“No, you said these situations as in this one specifically. Who else has come to you?”
“Come now, privacy is key. You wouldn’t want us telling others that you were here.”
-“Except that I am here telling you I want you to tell others I am here.”
“Who?”
-“The right people.”
“Who are the right people?”
-“The people who will listen to me and see that justice is done.”
“You just want someone to tell you what you want to hear.”
-“No, I want to report what happened and open an investigation. I want the others you have silenced to hear me and to know they can speak. I want you to understand that this silencing game is over.